♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
You don’t do subtle. You post up with a glow-up selfie, blast their least favorite song, and go full scorched earth—then pretend it was all a coincidence. You don’t get mad, you get main character energy.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Your revenge is giving “I’m fine” while slowly removing yourself from their life—AND their streaming passwords. You’ll silently thrive and make sure they feel your absence with every homemade charcuterie board you post.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
You flirt with their friends, casually mention you’re over it (12 times), and drop cryptic tweets like “loyalty is rare 💅” just to stir the pot. You’ve already moved on but will still emotionally confuse them for sport.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
You block them, unblock them, watch their story, then block them again. Emotional warfare is your sport. And you will bake something passive-aggressively delicious and post it with a shady caption.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
You seek revenge by living your BEST life—loudly. You’ll post every win like it’s the Met Gala and casually make sure their friends are commenting “you’re glowing.” You’re not mad, you’re booked and busy.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Your revenge is so organized it’s terrifying. You return every item they left at your place in a labeled bag and send a screenshot folder of receipts they didn’t know existed. Then you disappear like an Excel-powered ghost.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
You hit them with kindness so icy it hurts. You’ll post a perfectly curated pic with someone hotter and throw in a “hope you’re well 🥰” for psychological damage. Revenge? No, just aesthetically devastating.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
You become their Roman Empire. Mysterious silence, emotional chaos, and one DM to their enemy just to stir the pot. You don’t forget, you don’t forgive—you haunt.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
You revenge-travel. You’ll be like “oh no I’m sooo heartbroken” from a beach in Tulum with someone new in your tagged pics. Your pettiness is global.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Your revenge is success. You quietly level up, get promoted, and make sure they see your LinkedIn pop off. You won’t say anything… but your glow and income will scream it.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
You get weird. Like “start a podcast with their ex’s ex” weird. Your revenge is chaotic-neutral with a twist of “how did we even get here?”
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
You’ll write an emotional poem, cry once, and then post a montage of you dramatically moving on with Lana Del Rey playing in the background. People feel your revenge like a soft, salty wave.