♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You “clean” by shoving everything in a random drawer or closet and calling it good. Out of sight, out of mind — until someone opens it and gets buried alive.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): You clean in slow motion with snacks and a playlist. It’s less cleaning, more vibing with a candle lit — but somehow, your space still ends up looking like Pinterest.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You’ll start ten cleaning projects at once, get distracted halfway through, and suddenly your room looks worse than before. Chaos is your brand.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): You deep clean when you’re sad, mad, or spiraling — scrubbing baseboards with tears in your eyes. Your house shines, but only because you had an emotional breakdown.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): Cleaning is a performance. Music blasting, dramatic outfit, full choreographed routine — you’re turning chores into Coachella.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): You’re not just cleaning — you’re reorganizing, color coding, and dusting spots no human eye will ever see. Your friends are both impressed and terrified.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You light a candle and call it “cleaning.” You’ll pick up one sock, get distracted on FaceTime, and suddenly the day is gone.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You clean like you’re hiding evidence. Nobody knows what went down, but the bleach smell is suspicious.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): You’ll start cleaning, then find something from 2014, and next thing you know you’re three hours deep in nostalgia instead of vacuuming.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You clean like it’s a competition — scrubbing, polishing, and muttering “nobody works harder than me” under your breath. The grind never stops.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You don’t really clean — you just “rearrange” stuff into a new kind of clutter and convince yourself it’s aesthetic.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): You put on a sad playlist and turn cleaning into a main character montage. It takes forever, but at least you cried while folding laundry.