#ReadThisFIRST: Good Morning. You look as good as this Starbucks tastes!

 

Hey!

So welcome to the new day... I'm still dealing with this allergy BS when it comes to my voice, but, thanks to a few of your suggestions - including one about local honey - I think things are getting better. I think. Now, I've probably jinxed myself but you'll have these things!

You good? Anything you need from me to make life better? I got my hands on some of these Marvin Gaye stamps from the United States Postal Service yesterday and, I have to tell you, a simple thing for me that makes life better... is sending some unexpected SNAIL MAIL to people I know. Now, thanks to MARVIN, the envelopes have an extra dose of SEXY going on!

Wait, is SEXY a word that doesn't meet brand expectations? Should I have SENSUAL? Did MARVIN NOT CALL HIS SONG SEXUAL HEALING?

Well?

Holla' back! And if you want a handwritten act of random, you know what you have to do... especially if you've been following the STORY!

:-)

Now, let's get to work... Chris Cuomo style...

Today is NAME YOURSELF DAY: The day to pick a different name to use if you don't like the name you were given by those who named you. I've always been Toby. I say it's short for TOBIAS so I sound like an SMU trust fund type person, but it's really not that savvy. It's just Toby. You know, like the dog. The cat. A donkey on Meme's farm. The dude from the West Wing. The dude from This Is Us. It's a gender-neutral name so it works for guys and girls, I guess. Does that make it non-binary?

TODAY’S TOPICS:

So here’s a Tuesday truth… Female dolphins are having better sex than you. Yep, according to researchers, female dolphins have lady parts just like human women – but theirs are bigger and better placed … leading to more enjoyable dolphin romps. (NY Post)

Get a pet… A new survey found that 90% of pet owners said their furry friends made them feel appreciated and helped them enjoy life more. 79% said their pets helped reduce their stress. And while all pets make their owners happier and less stressed, dogs make them more active. 80% of dog owners said their pup was the reason for their increased physical activity. (The Ladders)

How would you define “real beauty”?That is the question researchers put to a group of Gen X women. And, not surprisingly, looks were nowhere on the list.

Here are the Top 10 Signs of Real Beauty, according to the survey respondents:

  1. Kindness in how you treat and speak to others
  2. Being honest
  3. Making others feel more comfortable
  4. Simply being happy
  5. Having the ability to laugh at yourself
  6. Being happy to be yourself in front of others
  7. Having the courage to stand up for others
  8. Not judging others with different beliefs, religions, life choices
  9. Knowing when others need a shoulder to cry on
  10. Being prepared to admit you're wrong sometimes or made a mistake (SWNS)

Heinz has announced a new condiment hybrid… Joining Mayochup, Mayomust, and Mayocue will be Kranch – a mix of ketchup and ranch dressing. (Pop Sugar)

Sure, it’s not even Easter – but it’s not too early to start thinking about Christmas… Hallmark just announced that it will be airing a record 40 new Christmas movies this year. And some will start airing in July – because, naturally, it’s the halfway point to Christmas. (Entertainment Weekly)

TRENDING STUFF FOR RIGHT NOW...

Virginia: They won the NCAA Championship Monday night over Texas Tech.

Tony Bennett: The coach of Virginia, not the singer, is trending – although some are getting them confused.

Keith Raniere: He's the founder of the disturbing NXIVM sex-cult.

Felicity Huffman: The actress and other parents agreed to plead guilty in the college admissions scandal.

Chris Davis: The Baltimore Orioles star has gone 0-for-44 in his at bats since late last season, leaving the team's fans perplexed.

Bobby Bones: He filled in Monday night onAmerican Idolfor as ailingRyan Seacrestmissed his first show.

Rick Barnes: He turned down an offer to coach UCLA's basketball team to stay with Tennessee.

AMERICA WANTS TO DRINK BEER WITH BETTY WHITE

According to a new survey, the celebrity most Americans would like to drink beer with isBetty White.

Other celebrities ranking high on the list include:

  • Bill Gates
  • Denzel Washington
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Lady Gaga
  • (VinePair)

MARCH MADNESS IS OVER. HOW DID THAT VASECTOMY GO?

March Madness is now over as last night was the NCAA Tournament Championship Game. We’ll have to wait 11 months for next year’s March Madness to start up so we can do this all again.

Did you make the most of it? Did you watch as much basketball as you hoped to? Did you watch an unhealthy number of games?

Speaking of health…

Did you take advantage of the tournament to get a vasectomy? How did that go? It takes longer to recover than you thought, doesn’t it?

Are you back to full strength?

Did someone give you a vasectomy cake to celebrate the big move?

Did you get any other gifts for going under the knife?

How Long Do You Really Want to Live?

According to a new study, guys are more likely than women to want to live past their average expected life span, which is 81 for women and 77 for men

How about you? How long do you really want to live?

The researchers found that the older you get, the more likely you are to want to live longer. Does that sound right? Could you see yourself worrying about it more as the clock ticks down?

Any interest in living past 100 years old?

If so, how much past 100 are you thinking? If not, what’s your number -- and what scares you about hitting 100?

Health is a big deal, of course. You don’t want to be old and unhealthy.

But … How interested in living a healthy lifestyle are you? There’s got to be a balance of health and fun, doesn’t there? Even if it means you’re going to conk out earlier than you had to?

YOU MIGHT BE GETTING RIPPED OFF BY MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTIONS

Financial advisors are suggesting that people take a few minutes to look at your debit and credit card statements -- and really see what’s going on.

There’s a good chance you’re suffering from “subscription creep,” which means you’ve been subscribing to services that you might not actually be using

There’s Netflix and Amazon Prime. And then, there’s food services and gaming services. And, music services. And, sports services.

Do the math and figure out the yearly cost of your subscriptions by multiplying the monthly charge by 12.

It could be costing you big bucks. (MarketWatch)

LIST: THE BEST AND WORST AIRLINES... ANOTHER LIST...

If you’re getting ready to travel on an airplane in the coming weeks, you may want to listen up. Yet another report is out revealing the best airlines out there and you may not be happy if yours isn’t high on the list.

As we previously told you, The Points Guy website recently named Delta Airlines as the best airline out there, and now the airline has received yet another accolade. The 29th annual Airline Quality Rating, was just released, with Delta once again coming out on top.

This list is determined by judging the nation’s largest nine airlines on 2018 data regarding mishandled baggage, consumer complaints, on-time performance and involuntary denied boardings. The AQR found that on the whole the airline industry improved in areas like involuntary denied boardings, mishandled bags and customer complaints, although on-time performance, which is actually the one factor weighed most heavily in the results, declined. 

As for the worst airline, well, just like The Points Guy, the AQR gave that title to Frontier Airlines.

Major Airlines Ranked From Best To Worst

  1. Delta Airlines
  2. Jetblue
  3. Southwest Airlines
  4. Alaska Airlines
  5. Hawaiian Airlines
  6. United Airlines
  7. Spirit Airlines
  8. American Airlines
  9. Frontier Airlines

Source:Airline Quality Ratings

So.... what's on TV today... WELL... let's see...

TALK SHOWS:

  • Jimmy Fallonhas comedian Chelsea Handler, Justin Hartley (Little), music by Brooks & Dunn f/ Midland, Bernard Purdie,C huck Rainey
  • Stephen Colbert has Michelle Williams (Fosse/Verdon), journalist Emily Bazelon,Oscar the Grouch
  • Jimmy Kimmel has Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones), Danai Gurira (The Walking Dead), music b Backstreet Boys
  • James Corden has Zoe Saldana (Missing Link), Jason Clarke (Pet Sematary), comedian Kenny Deforest
  • Seth Meyers has Timothy Olyphant (Missing Link), fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg
  • Conan has comedian Patton Oswalt
  • Ellen DeGeneres has Chris Hemsworth (Avengers: Endgame), Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, music by Hozier
  • Live With Kelly and Ryan has Kit Harington (Game of Thrones), TV personality Maria Menounos, singer Melissa Etheridge
  • Watch What Happens: Live has Lisa Vanderpump (Vanderpump Rules)
  • The View has Chelsea Handler,Dr. Ian Smith
  • The Talk, with guest co-host Chris Wragge, has singer Dionne Warwick,Matthew Gray Gubler (Criminal Minds)

PRIMETIME:

  • American Housewife Katie attempts to make up for forgetting Greg's birthday by throwing a last-minute dinner party. (ABC)
  • The Kids Are Alright Peggy storms out of the house without explanation after a mishap at the grocery store. (ABC)
  • black-ish Bow wants to be more mindful as she and Dre plan Devante's birthday. (ABC)
  • Splitting Up Together (season finale)Milo complains that Grandparents Day is coming up and doesn't feel Henry is interesting enough. (ABC)
  • The Rookie Gray informs the rookies that they must track down a specific set of crimes in a 48-hour period. (ABC)
  • NCIS Following an active shooter lockdown at a naval hospital, the team searches for a suspect who fled the scene. (CBS)
  • The Code (series premiere) When a soldier in Afghanistan murders his commanding officer, Capt. John "Abe" Abraham and Capt. Maya Dobbins are assigned to the case as prosecution and defense lawyers. (CBS)
  • NCIS: New Orleans A Navy lieutenant from a well-connected and affluent family has a fatal fall down a flight of stairs at a charity gala. (CBS)
  • The Voice Superstar advisers prepare the artists for dueling duets. (CBS)
  • The Village Katie faces pregnancy decisions while tracking an art thief. (NBC)
  • New Amsterdam The doctors continue to weather the storm without power. (NBC)
  • MasterChef The top 14 junior home cooks must learn to butcher a whole bird. (FOX)
  • Mental Samurai Contestants vie to become a Mental Samurai. (FOX)
  • The Flash (repeat) When Gorilla Grodd attacks Central City, Barry and Team Flash find themselves teaming up with an unexpected ally to defeat – King Shark. (CW)
  • Roswell, New Mexico As the town prepares for the UFO Emporium Re-opening Gala, Liz and team find themselves on a collision course with an unlikely enemy. (CW)

 
 
 
 
Toby Knapp

Toby Knapp

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