Did you call that person "TOXIC?"
You may want to check yourself before you wreck yourself...
#TOXIC: Have you called someone toxic? What if you are the toxic one? This researcher has a few things to say about the science of what makes one "TOXIC" and before you drop that "T" word again, you may want to read what using that word says about you... especially when you use it to define others!
This researcher says the science - and research - behind calling someone - or labeling them - as being TOXIC... is "dubious..."
So why are we - why are you - calling people TOXIC?
Take a look at this...
So if the science is dubious, why call each other toxic? Partly because it’s emotionally satisfying to blame other people for our distress; peopleactually get addicted to the feeling of grievance. Especially when stressed, we look for ways to narrate difficult situations as moments where we have been wronged in some way. This compulsion to blame others is in part what “toxicity”-focused self-help gurus peddle: they urge you to let go of nuance or self-reflection and embrace condemnation.
In tough situations, part of us worries that it’s all our fault. Blame is protective, because it means there’s nothing wrong with us. Exploring feelings of guilt or shame for working for a bullying boss or dating a neglectful person can help us get brave enough to leave or change a bad situation (without resorting to blaming the other person’s intrinsic personality).
Yeah, you may want to read this before you drop that TOXIC word again...